Analyzing Harry Harrison’s “The Stainless Steel Rat” – Part 2

Part one of this series looked at Harry Harrison's The Stainless Steel Rat from a purely statistical viewpoint, examining chapter length, sentence length, and various readability indexes. This installment will take a look at the craft used by Harrison to tell the story.

Analyzing the Chapter "Hooks"

I've been told that if you want your novel to be a real page turner, there are a few simple techniques that can help you achieve that. First, start each chapter with a "hook" that gets the reader asking questions like "Who is this? Why did that happen?" End each chapter with a cliff hanger of sorts that makes the reader wonder what's next. If you also keep chapters close to an average length of around 2,500 words, most readers can get through one fairly quickly. They'll get to the end of the chapter they're reading and think, "That last chapter went pretty quick. I wonder what will happen next. I'll just read one more chapter before I quit." This cycle continues chapter after chapter, and soon the reader has finished the whole book. With this thinking in mind, I took a look at how Harrison started and ended the 19 chapters in The Stainless Steel Rat. (For me, the book has always been a page-turner.)

Chapter 1 starts off with a pretty strong hook:

When the office door opened suddenly I knew the game was up. It had been a money-maker — but it was all over. As the cop walked in I sat back in the chair and put on a happy grin. He had the same somber expression and heavy foot that they all have — and the same lack of humor. I almost knew to the word what he was going to say before he uttered a syllable.

At once, the reader starts asking questions. Who is telling me this? What money-making game is over? Why is a cop coming in, and why does that make the character smile? How does he know what the cop is going to say? The rest of the chapter explains that our main character is a career criminal who has been running a scam where cans of fruit stolen from a government warehouse are re-labeled by robots and sold to unwitting shopkeepers at great prices. He knows what the cop is going to say because it isn't the first time they've tried to arrest him. The cliff hanger at the end of Chapter 1 is that although Jim has eluded the initial pursuit, he is still on the planet and might not get away.

Chapter 2 doesn't a hook at the beginning. It takes some time to explain what our anti-hero is all about, how he views his life of crime as a sort of public service, and that there aren't many like him in the galaxy. It ends with him on a different world, about to end a second criminal enterprise, only to realize that something isn't right. Someone is looking for him.

Chapter 3 starts with Jim wondering who is after him, and trying to escape from them. It ends with him receiving an offer to join The Special Corps, an elite government agency that catches dangerous criminals and solves problems that individual planetary governments can't. Jim sees this as "the end of loneliness".

Chapter 4 shows Jim finding life in The Special Corps as a new recruit incredibly dull. It ends with him discovering a plot to build a nearly unstoppable battleship and being sent to investigate it.

Chapter 5 begins with a description of the planet Cittanuvo, on which the battleship is being built. It ends with the battleship taking off ahead of schedule and escaping, and Jim wondering how he's going to catch it.

Chapter 6 is primarily there to slow down the frantic pace of action established in the earlier chapters. Jim spends time thinking about the mysterious people behind the battleship, what their motives might be, and how he might catch them. It ends with the cliff hanger that "the next four days passed very slowly", leaving a reader to wonder what happened after that.

Chapter 7 ramps the action back up, with the battleship threatening Jim's ship (which has been setup as a tempting robbery target). It ends with Angelina, who turns out to be the criminal mastermind behind the battleship's construction, escaping. Jim realizes he'll be seeing Angelina again.

Chapter 8 has Jim stealing a ship and heading out after Angelina. When an explosive device detonates on the ship just after Jim disconnects it, he realizes that he's on his own now and can't expect help from the Corps.

Chapter 9 sees Jim as an independent again, deciding how to find and capture Angelina. It ends with him finding her in a bar, pretending to be a prostitute.

Chapter 10 starts with Jim pretending to hire Angelina's services following her back to her room. It ends with Jim realizing that this was a trap, and that she knew who he was. "Then, at the exact and ultimate moment of my maximum realization and despair she pulled the trigger. Not once, but over and over again. Four tearing, thundering bullets of pain directly into my heart. And a final slug directly between my eyes." Naturally, the reader wonders how in the heck Jim can survive that.

Chapter 11 finds Jim coming around in an ambulance, groggy and in pain. He survived because of a bullet proof vest and a reflexive move to shield his head with his arms. He modifies his medical charts to appear dead on arrival and is taken to the morgue. He exits the hospital before being treated.

Chapter 12 finds Jim looking for a disgraced medical professional to help heal his wounds and perform plastic surgery on him. It ends with a realization that Angelina is mentally ill, and that he'll have to "follow her down the path of insanity" if he hopes to catch her. This is another chapter that breaks the action for a bit.

Chapter 13 starts with Jim taking a combination of drugs to simulate Angelina's various psychological issues. It ends with him passing out, after triggering a booby trap he set for himself to prevent him from taking human life in his psychotic state.

Chapter 14 begins with Jim realizing he's in love with Angelina and that simulating her psychotic mind was intoxicating to him ("Even while detesting the thought I felt the desire for more of the same.") It ends with executing the first step in plan to get her attention as a member of the planet's royalty.

Chapter 15 starts with Jim in the royal prison wondering if he'll ever get out. It ends with hooded figures breaking into the prison and pulling him out.

Chapter 16 finds Jim being introduced to Count Rdenrundt, who wants to take over the planet (presumably with Angelina's help). There's no way for Jim to know if Angelina is here or not, but he plays along anyway. It ends with him meeting Angelina and learning that he had killed the Count's wife, only to cause her family to threaten revenge.

Chapter 17 has Jim wondering what to do. Should he turn Angelina in or stay with her? It ends with him learning that her psychotic nature was caused by childhood taunting over her ugliness, and Jim telling her that she's not that little girl anymore (but slipping and calling her "Angelina" in the process).

Chapter 18 begins with some suspicion over an assassin sent to kill Angelina the night before. It ends with The Special Corps showing up and capturing Angelina, who thinks Jim was stalling her so that they could close in.

Chapter 19 explains that The Special Corps had been monitoring Jim all along, and waited to see what he did with Angelina before finally swooping in to capture her. It ends with Jim and Inkskipp believing they might be able to cure Angelina of her homicidal tendencies.

So we see that most of the chapters in the book follow the pattern. There is something of a mystery at the start of the chapter, and a question at the end that makes you wonder what will happen next. Chapters 6 and 12 serve as a kind of break in the action and provide readers with a chance to catch their breath.

The hooks are a bit subtle in some cases, but are present in nearly every chapter.

Coming Up in Part 3 - Characterization

In Part 3 of the analysis, I'm going to look at characterization. How does Harrison establish Jim DiGriz as a career criminal, yet a sympathetic and likable guy? How does he depict Angelina as a cold, calculating criminal, yet leave her sympathetic enough that Jim can fall in love with her? And how has Harrison set the stage for Angelina to become a major character in future Stainless Steel Rat novels?

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Notes from Stackpole's "Writing in the Post-Paper Era"

At Gen Con 2010, I attended one of author Michael A. Stackpole's seminars entitled "Writing Success in the Post-Paper Era". The seminar description mentions that Stackpole was "the first author to offer fiction on the iPhone/iPod Touch through Apple's App Store" and that he would give attendees "an up to date look at the digital revolution and explain how you can profit and develop your career". He definitely delivered on that. Below are my notes:

• For every hardcopy book sold, two are printed.


• The economics of publishing are such that if 25% of the copies of a book sold are digital, publishers will drop the paper version.


• If you intend to make a living writing, you need a professional web site, a Facebook presence, and a Twitter feed. All of these will help get your name out there and draw people to your work.


• If you do a blog, everything you write, tweet, or post on Facebook should be entertaining. It should also be positive, and professional. All of these things become part of your image, and you want to present the image of an entertaining professional with a pleasant personality. If you come across as a moody jerk, a loser, or a person who sulks over all their rejection slips, that's not going to help your reputation.


• You should be able to generate 500 words on pretty much any topic and make it entertaining. If you can't, you probably shouldn't be looking at writing as a career.


• A good, professional WordPress design will cost you $150-200. You should consider that an investment in your future, and not go with one of the free, cookie-cutter themes on the web. (Like the one I'm using here, I guess...)


• Buy domain names for yourself, your main character names, and book titles. That will make it easier for people to find your site and your work.


• Mr. Stackpole uses Zen Cart on his site to handle payments and shopping cart duty.


• Paypal can provide a good payment option for customers. Make sure you get a merchant account with them, though.


• Put writing samples on your web site. This will help readers who are new to you decide whether or not to buy your work.


• Non-technical documents/books priced at over $10 will pretty much not sell as e-books.


• Pricing recommendations based on his experience: $2 for up to 10,000 words. $3 for 10-40,000 words. $5 for 50,000+ words.


• He recommends a metric over "word count divided by 10,000" to represent "hours of reading enjoyment" for your work. Price based on that metric and describe your content in that terminology. The term "pages" doesn't really apply in a digitial setting. Even describing in "word count" doesn't work. What you're really selling is the hours of enjoyment someone will get from your work.


• Consumers tend to be more concerned about the time cost of entertainment than the money cost.


• We'll start seeing more digital serial stories in the future, similar to TV episodes, that are sold for casual reading sessions and priced as above.


• The three main formats you should consider publishing your works in: PDF (optional), ePub (works for all devices except Kindle), and Kindle format. Those three formats should cover just about any e-reader your customer might have.


• Stackpole recommends "Legend Maker" software on the Mac for creating the eBooks.


• At some point there is probably going to be a "big collapse" of traditional publishing. Until then you have no reason not to submit your work to traditional publishers.


• Physical books will drive readers to your web site. That's good. You get money from your web site faster. Publishers tend to pay 6-9 months after the sale of the book. Payment tends to be around $1.35 from the sale of a $10 paperback. Sell a $2 short story through your web site, and you'll pocket around $1.67... so digital publishing is a better deal for the author. More money, sooner.


• As far as editing and proofing services, for a short story, it's sufficient to have another writer look it over. For a novel, hire a freelance editor.


• A good strategy for offering samples on your site: Put up installments of a serial story free. Take them down after a week or two. Put up the next installment. Near the end, offer a digitial omnibus collection of the entire series, including the as-yet-unpublished installments. People will buy them to get the parts they're missing and read the parts not available yet.


• In the digital age, there are no "established authors" anymore. You are as established as your web store.

Mr. Stackpole offers a "Digital Career Guide" for $30 through his web store that offers more detail, recommendations, and information. I purchased a copy at Gen Con but haven't read it yet. I hope to publish a review when I do.

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Notes on Creating Conflict in a Novel

While attending Gen Con 2010 this year, I attended the "Creating Conflict" panel in the writer's track. The panelists included Anton Strout, Chris Pierson, Brad Beaulieu, and John Helfers. The seminar description was:

Make war, not peace! Ruffle the feathers of your characters. Stir the pot of emotions. Add a fistfight or two. Craft a clever and entertaining argument among your heroes. Not all conflict has to be bloody or increase the body count, but it does have to keep the reader turning the pages. Our panelists discuss the art of adding a dash of conflict to your pages.

Below are my notes from the seminar:

• Conflict drives everything in a book.


• Conflict happens whenever two or more characters (or forces, or philosophies) are in opposition.


• Conflict should build over the course of the story, starting small and growing larger.


• It's important that you, and your reader, understand "the bad guy" and why that person does what they do. You don't have to AGREE with the villain, just understand what makes them do what they do. Few, if any, human beings are intentionally "evil".


• The term "psychometry" refers to knowing the history of an object at first touch. (One of the authors used that in a story. Sounded interesting to me so I made a note of it.)


• Having characters make the wrong choice because of their personalities can help build conflict.


• In achieving a goal, the character should try an easy or obvious solution, but fail. Then try a harder solution, and fail... and so on until the goal is achieved.


• Consequences of characters' choices and actions should be explored. They might achieve their goal, but at what cost?


• Characters (and by extension, the reader) may not know the "right choice" for solving a problem.


• The two important points to consider in a conflict: What are the stakes? Why should we care?


• Conflict should be meaningful and advance the plot.


• Conflict should start as early as possible in the story.


• During action scenes (like fights), you want a level of descriptive detail that is appropriate to what a character in that situation might actually notice. For example, during a frantic martial arts battle, we shouldn't see something like this:

The blow connected with Fred's chin, knocking his head back. As his face turned toward the ceiling, Fred noticed the wallpaper border around it. The pattern looked familiar somehow. Of course! It was the same border his mother had put around the walls in their home on the Cape. He wondered if he would ever get back to that house. The summers there were so relaxing...

(A sequence like the above would stop the action DEAD in the story, and it's unlikely anyone in the middle of a fight is going to reminisce about wallpaper and summer homes from their childhood. They might think back to a similar hit from a previous battle and how they reacted, but even that recollection is likely to be short and to the point.)

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Writing Advice from Bestselling Author Aaron Allston

While at the Origins 2010 game fair, I had the opportunity to attend some writing seminars by New York Times bestselling author Aaron Allston. Mr. Allston has published many novels, including a variety of novels for the Star Wars and Terminator franchises, as well as his own "Doc Sidhe" series. On Mr. Allston's home page, he posts information about projects he's working on and includes a link to an online store where his writing can be published in eBook formats.

Here are some of the bits of advice Mr. Allston shared during his "Style and Mood" seminar:

• Write all the way through a novel or story from beginning to end without stopping or editing any more than absolutely necessary. This will keep you from walking away from the work or getting bored with it before it's finished.


• Do not set out to create "art", especially in the beginning. Set out to tell the story you want to tell. As you perfect your craft, you'll get better and your work will begin to approach what others (and you) will see as "art". If you set out to create "art" you'll never achieve it, always comparing the work you're doing to some lofty goal.


• A genre is a way of deliberately limiting your writing to appeal to a specific subset of people. This is why some literature teachers don't see science-fiction as art, as it isn't designed to appeal to "everyone" but just to fans of that kind of work.


• Mr. Allston recommends watching the show Dexter as an example about someone who is trying to be "human" and isn't.


• Avoid writing "the shocking truth". He gave an example from a news story about a woman who had been attacked with an ice pick and didn't realize it until she got home, when she discovered "the shocking truth" that there was an ice pick stuck in her back. This kind of phrasing is trying to tell the reader (or viewer) how to react to the story, rather than sharing the facts and letting the reader react based on that.


• Avoid the use of adverbs and adjectives like "the pain was excruciating". That's not a very clear image. What is "excruciating" exactly? Better to use a description like "it was like having someone scrape off part of a vertbrae with a file". We may not have a good mental image of "excruciating" but we can probably envision that "scraping" example very clearly.


• Similarly, if someone is described as wearing "red shoes" it may be accurate, but if there isn't more to the selection of the color than that, it's a useless detail. Why did the person choose red shoes? What do those red shoes make the people around the wearer think of them? Is the wearer tasteless? Is the wearer trying to attract attention?


• When you're reviewing and editing your work, look at every adverb and adjective. Consider replacing it with an expansion like the "scraping" example above. Don't do too many of those, however. Maybe 1-2 per chapter of a novel is enough.


• Mr. Allston feels that Robert Heinlein was a master of brevity in dialogue and description.


• Manage dialogue without any euphemisms for "said", such as shouted, uttered, murmured, or "ejaculated". Find other ways to let the reader know who is speaking, such as the characters' word choice, sentence structure, or dialect.


• If you have written a scene and there is unwanted emotion in it (e.g., the bad guy looks more sympathetic than the hero), use the "Perry Mason" technique. In that show, the victim of a murder is always depicted as a bad person, so that the audience and the other characters in the story don't get too upset about them dying. By making the victim appear to be "awful" you can remove the emotional reaction to their death. Similarly, you can downplay any emotional reaction by offsetting it with other feelings.


• Humor is anything that tends to make people laugh. Comedy is a genre, where there tends to be a setup and a punchline. People in a comedy say and do things just to set up the joke, things that a normal person in that situation might not do.


• During action sequences, sentence and paragraph length should be shorter. Descriptions should be the minimum necessary to depict what is going on.


• If you use time dilation (making something appear to happen in slow motion), don't overdo it. A paragraph or two at the most should accomplish what you need. Even if the hypothetical time dilation continues on for quite a while, it's not advisable to continue it in the text.


• There shouldn't be large blocks of dialogue during action scenes.


• In an action scene, if a character is doing something unexpected or unusual, provide only the minimum amount of exposition necessary to explain the action. For example, if a pacifist picks up a gun, show them hesitating to do it but realizing it's necessary to protect a loved one, then move on to pulling the trigger.

During his seminar on plot analysis, Mr. Allston provided information including the following:

• The "point" of your story should be something you can express in a very short sentence, like "Family pride leads to murder."


• The "themes" of your story are ideas that you explore or express during the course of the story. These can generally be summed up in a single word, and there should be from 1 to 5 in a story.


• "Arcs" (usually character arcs) are the personal progression of a character, from the beginning to the end of the story. These should not be an external change, like a new job, but a deeper and more profound internal change (like Scrooge going from a grouchy old miser to a decent, generous guy).


• "Scenes" or "Events" are things that happen in a story in a confined space and time with specific characters involved. If you change the location, it's a new scene. Change the time period, it's a new scene.


• If a scene in the story isn't accomplishing something to move the story along, it should go.


• Scenes in a story generally do one or more of the following:


• 
  
  
  
  • Establish characters: Their conflicts, names, descriptions, etc.
  
  
  • Establish facts: Any back-story, history, off-screen events that happen, or time-critical information getting to characters
  
  
  • Reiterate or Re-establish facts that were already established, such as showing a subtle fact seen earlier more clearly, or allowing characters who weren't present earlier to learn of a fact and react to it
  
  
  • Point to the future: foreshadowing and scenes that set up a situation now for a pay-off later (e.g., picks up some papers and later finds a winning lottery ticket in them)
  
  
  • Complicate matters: Add obstacles the slow things down, or a "quest" that the character must finish to get something needed to resolve the main conflict. These can also include "reversals" where we learn that something isn't what we thought it was (e.g., drug dealer is really an undercover cop).
  
  
  • Move things along, facilitating progress in the main story: This can (and where appropriate should) include the character looking at the options to solve his or her problem and choosing one, with the possible repercussions of the choice spelled out.
  
  
  • Reposition characters: Move them physically or emotionally where you need them. For example, getting them on a bus so they're across town at the right time, or having them get bad news that makes them sad at a critical time.
  
  
  • Address one of the themes: For example, if "loyalty" is a theme, test a character's loyalty in some way.
  
  
  • Address the point of the story: For example, show the good guy becoming corrupted.
  
  
  • Address a character arc: A spineless character has to make a choice that helps him grow, or chooses the wimpy option and sets himself up for failure later. Characters should, by the way, fail in at least some scenes. If they always win, it becomes melodramatic.
  
  
  • Wrap things up: resolve a sub-plot, resolve the main plot, or reveal something like a character realizing he no longer wants the thing he's been pining for the entire novel. Deliver a pay-off from an earlier scene. Give emotional closure.
  
  
  
  


• Having multiple purposes to a scene can misdirect the reader. You can introduce something seemingly minor (e.g., an unplugged clock radio) that comes into play later (e.g., character is unsure of the time something happened).


• During your review of the story, analyze each scene. Does it accomplish something? Can you hide additional things in the scene for a pay-off later? Should there be more action or a theme expressed? Does the scene accomplish "enough" to move the story along?


• Good examples of plotting include: The Godfather 1 and 2, It's a Wonderful Life, and "A Man of Prosperity"


• An example of how a scene can serve multiple purposes... Imagine that you've established that Kate and Jack are a married couple. Jack lost his job and is forced to work a crummy part-time job that he hates. Kate is the major breadwinner. Each night, she comes home from work, takes a nap, wakes up, fixes them dinner, they talk for a bit, and go to bed. One day, Kate wakes up to find her alarm clock didn't go off. It's not completely unplugged but it's unplugged enough to be "off". It's dark, and she hasn't fixed Jack's dinner yet. She comes out and finds him watching his favorite show. She apologizes to him. He blows up. He follows her around berating her. At one point, he grabs an old clock off the wall, shoves it in her face, and asks her if she sees what time it is. Tells her he's been waiting around for her. Smashes the clock over her head. In fear, she runs to the bedroom and locks herself in.
  
  What did this scene accomplish for the story? It depicts Jack's chauvenism, his tendency toward violence, and the couple's rocky relationship. It showed a fight between the couple. It also establishes something more subtle: the time that the fight took place. Jack showed her the clock before smashing it, so Kate saw the time. Imagine now that Jack's boss, whom he hates, shows up later in the story as murdered on that day and time. Kate believes she knows where he was. But does she? Her alarm clock was unplugged. Jack could have set any time he wanted on the smashed clock before she saw it. The show he was watching could have been on his DVR or VCR. The scene also therefore establishes reasonable suspicion in Kate's mind that her husband might be the killer. The reader will likely focus on the argument and violence, not thinking about the time on the smashed clock or the unplugged alarm clock until much later.

I thought Mr. Allston did a great job explaining his points and providing concrete examples of what he meant by each point.

I look forward to learning more from him at a future seminar.

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Michael A. Stackpole’s “The Rules of Writing” Seminar

Michael A. Stackpole is a fairly prolific author, having penned a large number of fantasy-themed books, Star Wars novels, Battletech novels, and other works of fiction. He's had a long and successful career. In other words, the man knows a bit about writing. He runs a web site, stormwolf.com, where he shares (and sells) what he knows and writes. He hosted a seminar at Origins 2009 entitled "The Rules of Writing", in which he shared his top 5 tips to help aspiring fiction writers improve their craft.

I signed up for one of his sessions. After attending, I wished I had signed up for the others. Stackpole not only understands what beginning fiction writers (and experienced ones) struggle with, he also knows how to communicate solutions to those problems effectively. I think I learned more in the 1-hour session with him than I've learned in all the other creative writing education I've had. To give you an idea what to expect, I'm going to share some of what I learned from Stackpole during his Origins 2009 session. Out of respect for the author and a desire not to infringe on his copyrights (he sells a document with his 20 rules of writing) or affect his attendance at seminars, I'm only sharing part of the information here. If you want to learn more, and get more detail, I would encourage you to visit his stormwolf.com site or attend one of his seminars.

Stackpole's first "Rule of Writing" is "Show, Don't Tell". This is something you hear in many creative writing classes, but Stackpole did a great job of illustrating the impact of doing it right. For example, a beginning writer will "tell" you what is going on, such as "Tom was mad." That definitely tells you what's going on, but you don't have to actually think about the words. It's better to "show" your audience how mad Tom is, by saying something like "Tom's face turned red. He gritted his teeth and slammed his fist on the counter." In the second example, you have to visualize what's going on. Not only do you get the point ("Tom is mad"), you can also picture just how mad Tom is.

Stackpole also tells writers to use "Continuity Bolts" in their work to hold the story together and make it seem real. For example, if the main character in your story visits a local bar and has a conversation with the bartender while waiting on a friend to show up, use that conversation and the bartender character elsewhere in the story. Perhaps your main character needs to go to the post office to pick up a package. While he's waiting in line, he might see the bartender buying stamps. This makes your fictional world seem more real. Similarly, if a television in the bar talks about some news story, the main character might hear people talking about that same story in line at the post office. These elements of continuity make your fictional world seem more complete and consistent, and reward readers for paying attention.

The rule that stuck with me the most was "He said, she said". This refers to something I've always struggled with when I write fiction. I knew it sounded horribly awkward, but I just couldn't see a way around it. In about two minutes, Stackpole pushed me right past that block and helped me understand what I should do instead. Lots of beginning writers construct dialogue in their stories like this:

"I don't like it," Tom said. "You spend too much time at that night club."

"Don't be jealous," Jane told him. "I'm only dancing and hanging out with my girlfriends."

Tom asked, "Then why did Fred tell me he saw you sitting with that guy from Accounting?"

All that "said", "told", and "asked" stuff gets repetitive and irritating after a while. But how do you make it obvious who's doing the talking? Stackpole explained that one way you can do that effectively is to give your characters a unique style of speaking. Perhaps one character never uses contractions. Maybe one uses a lot of big words, while another chooses smaller, one-syllable ones. The above example might be rewritten as:

"Ticks me off, you goin' clubbin' like that every night."

"That's silly! I only go to dance and hang out with the girls."

"Fred saw you sittin' with a jerk from Accountin'. Why?"

In that example, Tom tends not to say the "g" at the end of words. He also likes to use shorter, more gutteral sounding sentences. Jane uses more complete sentences and a more formal speech pattern.

Another way to identify speakers is to have them name one another, as in "Oh Tom, you're always saying things like that."

You can also illustrate who is speaking indirectly, by showing actions they take while they're speaking, such as "Tom picked at his fingernails." right before he says something.

You can also hide clues in the context of the characters' speech, such as "Being the chief of police has its advantages, eh?" If three characters are speaking and only one is the chief of police, you know who they're talking to. It's also likely that the next person to speak will be that "chief of police" character. These little clues help the reader figure out who is talking, who's listening, etc., without having to explicitly use the words "he said", "she uttered", "she asked", etc.

For example, another way you might rewrite the original scene:

He gritted his teeth. "Ticks me off, you goin' clubbin' every night, Jane."

"Oh, Tommy! I only go to dance and hang out with my girlfriends."

"Fred saw you sittin' with a jerk from Accountin'. Why?"

In the first line, we know the speaker is male, and he is talking to Jane, even if we don't know who that speaker is. In the next line, Jane tells us it's Tom. Now that we've established that Tom and Jane are talking, the third and subsequent lines can just deliver dialog until someone new enters the conversation or an existing speaker leaves.

(My examples above aren't intended to be great writing, just quick illustrations to get the point across.)

Stackpole also shared suggestions for making scenes and dialog do "double duty" and explained the importance of researching the topics you write about. During the seminar, he recommended authors whose work provides good examples of different areas of fiction writing, such as dialogue, plotting, characterization, and

At his seminars, Stackpole sells CD-ROMs which contain PDF (Adobe Reader) files. I purchased the disc for this particular seminar. The PDF contains the 5 rules Stackpole discussed in the seminar, along with another 15. The disc also contains a copy of a back issue of his "The Secrets" newsletter that covers "timely and classic" writing issues. For example, his June 19, 2009, issue (122) discussed how to prepare documents for the Amazon Kindle device

I'm looking forward to attending Stackpole's seminars at Gen Con Indy 2009 in August and wish him continued success in his career.

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